Friday Fanfic

Buffy the Dragon Slayer

(An obvious continuation of last week's story)

Chapter Twelve-Alpha

Buffy kept telling herself that she had nothing to worry about. After all, she had a dragon's claws, a dragon's scales and most important of all, a dragon's flame. With all that, it should not really bother her that her hands could no longer hold a spear or a sword or even a shield. Her skin was fireproof, her claws and teeth deadlier than most weapons she had handled as a Slayer and if worse came to worse, she could always breathe fire.

Then she got outside and saw the dragon. It was very easily the largest dragon she had ever seen. It was more the size of a small mountain than that of the overgrown lizards that she had usually fought as a Slayer. Heck, even Vermithrax Pejorative would have seemed like a newt compared to this creature.

Plus this creature stood on two legs. Buffy had fought many a dragon in her brief life and yet she had never encountered a dragon that stood on two legs. They were always on all fours.

To be fair, this dragon also had no wings but that did not seem to make a difference to Buffy when she saw how easily the creature breathed fire. Who cared whether or not the darn thing flew? It could very easily set on fire almost any flying animal that it saw.

Then the dragon turned in her direction. As a veteran dragon slayer, Buffy could guess what was coming but she still felt a bit of fear creep down her spine.

Pure instinct made her close her eyes as well, which was just as well because the dragon's very next move was to belch a mass of flame in her direction.

xxx

Erastus Rayne led the way to one of his back rooms where he immediately advised Brother Linden to step outside of the room while he got Sister Lilith prepared for the big dragon fight.

"Why can't I stay?" asked Linden.

"Because Lilith is going to have to get undressed right now," said Erastus. "And she'd probably be more comfortable if she could do it in privacy."

"I've seen Lilith undressed before," said Linden.

"Hey!" said Lilith. "I thought we both agreed we weren't going to talk about that."

"Very well," said Erastus. "You can stay."

Linden went and stood against a nearby wall, leaving a very nervous Lilith to undress before the gaze of him and Erastus.

"I've attended too many Black Masses to pretend I've never undressed in mixed company before but never have I had to undress for something like this," said Lilith as she started taking off her clothes.

"Don't worry," said Erastus. "The transformation should be painless and it should take less time than a -- Oh, my!"

"What is it?" said Lilith as she dropped the last of her garments to the floor.

Erastus replied, "I've heard that you looked quite fetching in the nude, Lilith, but I never realized -- Er, you don't have to cover yourself for my sake. We're all adults here."

Lilith continued to hold one arm over her breasts and the other over her private parts, feeling a bit like the convent girl she used to be before she changed teams.

"No, thanks," Lilith replied. "Somehow I feel more comfortable like this."

"And yet you're supposed to be this big bad representative of the Dark Brotherhood," said Erastus.

"Hey, members of the Dark Brotherhood can be modest, too," said Lilith.

"Ahem!" said Linden. "I know a naked Lilith is a hard sight to pass up but we do have a bit of a time crunch on our hands."

"Right," said Erastus. "Well, here goes!"

Erastus made a few gestures with her hands, muttered some words in Latin and then flung out his hands in Lilith's direction. There was a brief flash of light emanating from his hands and then --

Lilith disappeared.

In her place there stood a dragon roughly about her size.

"There," said Erastus. "It worked. Now let's go kill that witch and that Slayer."

To be continued...

Friday Fanfic

Buffy the Dragon Slayer

(An obvious continuation of last week's story)

Chapter Eleven-Gamma

Messalina was leading Buffy into a back room of the inn so that she could get undressed when her boyfriend Stake pulled her aside.

"Listen, Mess," he said, "you know I usually have your back on all things but if things go pear-shaped with this Slayer business, the Watchers Council is going to come after us with everything they've got."

"Let them try," said Messalina. "They've come after us before -- and they've never caught us."

"But this is serious," said Stake. "It's one thing to expect them to write off Niccola Wood as an unfortunate coincidence. But if the same thing happens to this Buffy..."

"Relax, darling," said Messalina. "I know what I'm doing. Besides, this Slayer is actually different than the late Miss Wood. I can tell just by talking to her. And I'm learning a lot of interesting stuff from this one too. I never expected that to happen."

"Wait!" exclaimed Stake. "Are you telling me, Mess, that after years of anti-Slayer rhetoric, you're actually beginning to empathize with a Slayer?"

At this point, Messalina's eyes went vacant.

Then she said, "No, that's not it."

xxx

"So this dragon slayer is actually collaborating with vampires?" asked the dark-haired woman known as Faith as she walked down the street toward the inn called the Violet Moon.

"As far as we can tell," said Sister Lilith, wondering why the rain seemed to bother Faith far less than it bothered her. "At least that's what our sources say."

"Why would she do something like that?" asked Faith as she loaded the two crossbows that she wore on her arms. "Doesn't she know how evil vampires can -- Oh, it doesn't matter. The fact is that she chose to go over to the other side and it's my duty to punish her for doing so."

"You think you can take her?" asked Brother Linden.

"I can take any human," said Faith. "I'm a poison damsel, remember? If I can't hit her with my crossbows, I have merely to touch her or breathe on her and she'll be a dead woman."

"You know the Watchers Council won't be happy with you if you succeed in this," said Sister Lilith.

"So what?" said Faith. "I'm not happy with them. Besides, I don't work for them; I work for my father the mayor. And if he hadn't asked me to do this thing for you two, I wouldn't even be here."

At this point, Faith stopped to glance at the giant two-legged dragon in the town square.

Then she shrugged and turned back toward the Violet Moon.

To be continued...

Friday Fanfic

Buffy the Dragon Slayer

(An obvious continuation of last week's story)

Chapter Eleven-Beta

The cart carrying Brother Linden, Sister Lilith and Siegfried was more than a block away from the center of the village when Siegfried suddenly looked up and saw the giant dragon.

"Fire!" he exclaimed, pointing at the dragon's fiery breath. "Fire!"

And just like that, he was climbing out of the cart and running like hell away from the dragon.

"Well, so much for that idea," said Sister Lilith.

"Relax!" cried Brother Linden. "I have a backup plan."

xxx

Twenty minutes later, Brother Linden and Sister Lilith were knocking on the door of a certain house on the edge of the village.

A dark-haired man in a monk's robe answered and asked, "What do you want?"

"Are you Warden Meers by any chance?" asked Brother Linden.

"Who wants to know?" asked the man at the door.

Brother Linden replied, "I represent the Dark Brotherhood of --"

"Oh, for Lucifer's sake!" exclaimed the dark-haired man. "I told you folks before that I'm not doing any more contract work for Adelle and Topher. I'm tired of being asked to fix Whiskey and Echo and don't even get me started on all the issues you've had with Alpha. If you wish to have your galateas and galateos fixed so badly, why don't you all go to that Geppetto guy and his assistant the Blue Fairy? I'm done playing Pygmalion for you people."

"Silly warlock," said Brother Linden. "We don't represent the Dark Brotherhood of Rossum. We present the Dark Brotherhood of the Wolf, the Ram and the Stag."

"So?" asked the dark-haired man.

"We wish to acquire the services of the two golems you refer to as the Girlfriend and the Slayer," said Brother Linden. "Specifically, Salome and Mina."

"How did you find out about them?" asked the dark-haired man.

"We have our sources," said Brother Linden.

"Well, I'm not sure I can lend them to you," said the dark-haired man.

"Oh, we're prepared to pay you a hefty price for their services," said Brother Linden. "Also I feel obliged to inform you that a man in your position is better off having the Dark Brotherhood as a friend rather than an enemy. Unless of course, you wish us to tell the Watchers Council about the type of stuff you've been doing with Salome and Mina in private."

The dark-haired man turned pale.

"Of course you may have them," he replied. "Just give me a little time to get them both ready."

"Take all the time you want," said Sister Lilith. "However, I am obliged to ask you just one more question."

"What is it?" said the dark-haired man who was so obviously Warden Meers.

"Have you managed to imprint either figure with the Asimov spell?" asked Sister Lilith.

"Hell, no!" said Warden Meers. "That spell is a son of a bitch to imprint onto this type of golem."

"So, in other words, you have two golems with superhuman strength and absolutely no qualms about taking a human life," said Sister Lilith. "That's good to hear!"

xxx

"So what do we do now?" asked Buffy as she, Laurel, and Sir Roderick followed Magdalena Walsh back into the Violet Moon.

"Fortunately, I have a backup plan," said Magdalena.

"Oh, really?" asked Buffy. "What is it?"

"You'll find out in a few minutes," said Magdalena.

Ten minutes later, there was a knock on the front door. The innkeeper opened it and in walked a knight dressed in black armor with a bleary-eyed blonde leaning on his left shoulder. In his hands was a mysterious black box.

Magdalena took one look at the black box and smiled as the two most recent arrivals walked in and closed the front door behind them.

"Ah, Sir Reilly," she said. "So glad that you could make it on such short notice. Who's your friend?"

""Oh, this damsel," said Sir Reilly. "She's um...er... What was your name again?"

"Querida," said the blonde. "Querida... er, I forgot what my last name was. Does it really matter, dear boy?"

"Not to me," said Sir Reilly.

"Nor to me," said Magdalena. "Er, you didn't tell her about the you-know-what?"

"No, he didn't," said Querida. "And frankly, I don't care. Anyone have any rabbit blood, by the way? I'm feeling kinda peckish."

"Rabbit blood?" said the innkeeper's wife. "Don't tell me she's --"

"That's right," said Sir Reilly. "She's a bunny-eater."

"Oh my God!" cried the innkeeper's wife.

And with that, she hastily ran upstairs.

Sir Reilly smiled a cold smile. "I'm only kidding, of course. She's really just a vampire. Although Madame Cornelia calls her a lamia to impress her more posh clients."

"Madame Cornelia?" asked Laurel. "You mean she's also a --"

"A very good kisser," said Querida with a grin.

Then she saw the pale expression on Laurel's face and said, "Don't worry. I won't bite you -- at least not until I get to know you better."

"This is all very interesting, Mistress Walsh," said Sir Roderick, "but what about this backup plan you supposedly have?"

"Oh, it's right here," said Magdalena, pointing to the box in Sir Reilly's hands. "Right here in this box. Take it out, Sir Reilly."

Sir Reilly reached into the box and pulled out a metal glove that was covered with spikes. One end of the glove consisted of metal hooks specifically designed to secure the glove to any hand it was placed upon.

"What does it do?" asked Buffy in spite of herself.

Sir Reilly smiled, placed the glove on his left hand, watched silently as it magically secured itself to his wrist and then aimed the glove at a nearby window.

Almost instantly a large glove-sized hole appeared in the glass.

"It's called the Meggido glove," said Sir Reilly. "Fired in the right direction, it can kill almost anything -- even a dragon."

"How ever did you get it?" asked Sir Roderick.

"Easy," said Sir Reilly. "Me and the rest of the boys who work for the Prerogative -- the favorite secret project of our current monarch -- managed to borrow it from Mistress Walsh's former associate Guadalupe Post."

"How ever did you manage to get her to part with a weapon like that?" asked Laurel.

Again Sir Reilly smiled -- but this time his smile was even colder than before. "I can't really tell you how but I will say one thing -- she did not give it up voluntarily."

To be continued...

Friday Fanfic

Buffy the Dragon Slayer

(An obvious continuation of last week's story)

Chapter Eleven-Alpha

As Buffy started to follow Jamie and Sir Roderick out the front entrance of the Violet Moon, she could not help turning toward Laurel and saying, "Whatever else you do, Laurel, don't let Jamie die!"

"Oh, that's nice of you," said Laurel. "I didn't realize that you liked Jamie that much."

"I don't," said Buffy. "But right now she's the only chance I have of ever becoming a human again. So whatever else you do, please don't let Jamie die!"

"Damnit, Buffy!" exclaimed Laurel. "I know you're frightened but you don't have to tell me my business. I have no intention of letting Jamie die. Any more than I would let you die."

"Well, just the same..." said Buffy. "Please keep her safe."

"Okay, Buffy," said Laurel.

Laurel sighed as she watched her good friend Buffy Summerfield rush off to battle in the guise of a dragon. Buffy was a hard person to like at times but for some odd reason, Laurel preferred this angry Buffy to the frightened Buffy she had seen just a short time earlier.

She started to walk out the door when she realized she had forgotten her purse in her room. She turned to go get it and then immediately bumped into a blonde housemaid who had been carrying a pile of white towels. Towels that were immediately dropped upon the floor.

"I'm sorry," said Laurel. "I didn't see where I was going. You see -- Wait! Why haven't I seen you before, Miss..."

"Terra," said the housemaid. "You probably haven't seen me because I've been gathering lost towels all day. Every day we have guests, we lost a towel or two and when we have female guests, we seem to lose even more. You would be surprised how often our distaff guests would lack covering after their baths were it not for the work of humble servants like myself."

"That sounds terrible," said Laurel. "Anything I can do to help?"

"Well, right now you can help me pick up all these lost towels," said Terra.

"But right now I have to -- Oh, never mind," said Laurel. "I'll help you out."

Terra just smiled. "I'm sure you will."

xxx

Meanwhile, on the other side of the village, Linden and Lilith were knocking on the door of a certain residence. At long last it opened and a thin, dark-haired man looked outside with an expression on his face that reminded Linden of a weasel. Or a fox.

"Erastus Rayne?" asked Linden.

"Who's asking?" asked the man.

"We're from the Dark Brotherhood of the Wolf, the Ram and the Stag," said Lilith. "We would like to hire you to help you deal with a certain problem involving a witch and a dragon slayer. Apparently the witch took it upon herself to turn the Slayer into a dragon and our employers would prefer that we find a way to discourage that kind of behavior. Can you help?"

"Hmm," said Erastus. "Dragons are almost indestructible. Only one being is harder to destroy than a dragon and he's not in the country at the moment. Perhaps you two should go see the mad wizard Lex Luthor. He's an expert at battling almost indestructible beings."

"Luthor is not available at the moment and anyway, we would prefer to deal with you," said Linden. "We will pay you well for your trouble."

"Hmm," said Erastus. "Okay. I know of a solution. Come inside and we'll discuss it."

Linden and Lilith smiled. Apparently this task was going to be easier than they had feared.

"Of course, one of you is going to have to get undressed," said Erastus.

"Undressed?" asked Lilith. "Why?"

"Because the only thing that can defeat a dragon most times is another dragon," said Erastus. "Sure dragon slayers get lucky from time to time, but if you want to really defeat a dragon in a surefire way, you need to get a dragon."

"So get a dragon," said Linden.

"On this short notice?" asked Erastus. "No way. I'm going to have to make a dragon -- which means one of you will have to undress so that you can get transformed. And since one of you is obviously handicapped and the transformation spell won't work on the handicapped, that means that it's the girl who gets to be the dragon."

"It figures," said Lilith as she rolled her eyes.

To be continued...

Friday Fanfic

Buffy the Dragon Slayer

(An obvious continuation of last week's story.)

Chapter Ten-Gamma

At that moment, on the other end of the village, a meeting was being held in one of the lower chambers of the local castle.

"This meeting of the Dark Brotherhood of the Wolf, the Ram and the Stag will come to order," said a shadowy, robed figure. "Baron Holland Mannering presiding."

A tall, grey-haired figure in a black robe rose up and asked, "Do our distinguished guests have anything to say about this latest development?"

A dark-haired woman in a black wizard's outfit who was standing against one of the chamber walls just shrugged. So did her companion, a black-robed man whose main distinguishing feature seemed to be the metal hand on the end of his right arm.

"I have nothing," said the man.

"What about you, Sister Lilith?" said Baron Mannering.

"Hey!" she cried. "This news took me by surprise as well."

Baron Mannering just sniffed. "You two are not being paid to be surprised. You promised us a dragon attack and then you promised us a rain storm to keep the Slayer at bay. How come you did not foresee this development?"

"The vampire was apparently operating on her own," said Lilith. "We have no idea why she decided to help out the dragon slayer. After all, up to now, she has been decidedly very pro-dragon. But now she has apparently switched teams. Plus she got backup from her boyfriend. Granted, he is not a major player in the upcoming apocalypse like a certain acquaintance of ours but he is fierce enough that no one in his or her right mind would mess with either him or her."

"And you two do plan to handle the situation, right, Brother Linden?" asked Baron Mannering.

"Of course, sir," said Brother Linden. "In fact, Lilith and I called in an expert to help deal with this situation as soon as we heard about it."

"And where is this expert?" asked Baron Mannering.

A man in white robes entered. He bowed in the direction of the Baron and then clicked his heels. "I am Professor Rappaccini, a former alchemist attached to the mayor's office."

"And you think you have what we need to fend off this dragon slayer and her two vampiric protectors?" asked the Baron.

The man just smiled and made a gesture toward the chamber's open entrance. Five minutes later, a dark-haired woman entered the room. She wore a dark brown dress and had an angry look on her face that made most of the men in the room want to avert their eyes.

"Gentlemen," said Professor Rappaccini. "Meet the mayor's adopted daughter. Her family was killed by vampires so she has no love for their kind and she has a history of obeying any command given by me or her adopted father the mayor. She is the answer to your dragon slayer problem."

"Not exactly a dragon slayer, is she?" asked the Baron.

"Oh, she's better than a dragon slayer," said Professor Rappaccini. "She's a poison damsel. Only a handful of humans in this world are immune to her breath or her touch and the vampires killed three of them. Her official name is Beatriz Alraune Rappaccini but she still prefers to go by her childhood nickname."

"And what's her childhood nickname?" asked the Baron.

The professor smiled. "Well, before they were killed, Beatriz had three older sisters named Faith, Hope and Charity. Guess which one of those names she prefers."

To be continued...

Friday Fanfic

Buffy the Dragon Slayer

(An obvious continuation of last week's story.)

Chapter Ten-Beta

At that moment, on the other end of the village, a meeting was being held in one of the lower chambers of the local castle.

"This meeting of the Dark Brotherhood of the Wolf, the Ram and the Stag will come to order," said a shadowy, robed figure. "Baron Holland Mannering presiding."

A tall, grey-haired figure in a black robe rose up and asked, "Do our distinguished guests have anything to say about this latest development?"

A dark-haired woman in a black wizard's outfit who was standing against one of the chamber walls just shrugged. So did her companion, a black-robed man whose main distinguishing feature seemed to be the metal hand on the end of his right arm.

"I have nothing," said the man.

"What about you, Sister Lilith?" said Baron Mannering.

"Hey!" she cried. "This news took me by surprise as well."

Baron Mannering just sniffed. "You two are not being paid to be surprised. You promised us a dragon attack and then you promised us a rain storm to keep the Slayer at bay. How come you did not foresee this development?"

"The wizard is a freelancer," said Lilith. "Up to now we had assumed that she was working for the kingdom but apparently she decided to go all independent. I would not have expected it of a fellow graduate of Misanegra U but there you have it."

"And you two do plan to handle the situation, right, Brother Linden?" asked Baron Mannering.

"Of course, sir," said Brother Linden. "In fact, Lilith and I called in an expert to help deal with this situation as soon as we heard about it."

"And where is this expert?" asked Baron Mannering.

A man in white robes entered. He bowed in the direction of the Baron and then clicked his heels. "I am Professor Victor Piedrafranca, a former alchemist once attached to Professor Hohenheim's homunculus project."

"And you think you have what we need to fend off this mechanical dragon slayer Magdalena Walsh allegedly invented?" asked the Baron.

The man just smiled and made a gesture toward the chamber's open entrance. Five minutes later, a man entered the room. A large man. A man far larger than anyone else in the room and bearing more stitches than one would expect to see in a living being.

"Gentlemen," said Professor Piedrafranca. "Meet Siegfried. The answer to your dragon slayer problem."

"Not exactly a homunculus, is he?" asked the Baron.

"No, but he's survived a windmill fire, multiple attempts at drowning and even a hanging or two," said Professor Piedrafranca. "Plus he's organic in origin so he won't encounter any of the rust issues that Mistress Walsh's creation will encounter."

"Do you think he can handle a dragon as well?" asked the Baron.

Professor Piedrafranca smiled. "In his day, he has successfully defended himself against a werewolf, a vampire, gypsies and several armed mobs with torches. I think it's safe to say he can handle a dragon."

"Does he have any qualms about killing humans?" asked the Baron.

Again the professor smiled. "If he has, he hasn't mentioned any."

To be continued...

Friday Fanfic

Buffy the Dragon Slayer

(An obvious continuation of last week's story.)

Chapter Ten-Alpha

At that moment, on the other end of the village, a meeting was being held in one of the lower chambers of the local castle.

"This meeting of the Dark Brotherhood of the Wolf, the Ram and the Stag will come to order," said a shadowy, robed figure. "Baron Holland Mannering presiding."

A tall, grey-haired figure in a black robe rose up and asked, "Do our distinguished guests have anything to say about this latest development?"

A dark-haired woman in a black wizard's outfit who was standing against one of the chamber walls just shrugged. So did her companion, a black-robed man whose main distinguishing feature seemed to be the metal hand on the end of his right arm.

"I have nothing," said the man.

"What about you, Sister Lilith?" said Baron Mannering.

"Hey!" she cried. "This news took me by surprise as well."

Baron Mannering just sniffed. "You two are not being paid to be surprised. You promised us a dragon attack and then you promised us a rain storm to keep the Slayer at bay. How come you did not foresee this development?"

"The witch is a freelancer," said Lilith. "Up to now we had assumed that all freelancers had been done in by the Church but apparently they missed a few."

"And you two plan to handle the situation, right, Brother Linden?" asked Baron Mannering.

"Of course, sir," said Brother Linden.

"Then I guess there's no need for further questions," said Baron Mannering. "Get it done."

The dark-haired girl named Lilith raised her hand. "I do have one question."

"Yes," said Baron Mannering.

"Which one of the two do you wish for us to take care of first?" asked Lilith. "The witch or the Slayer?"

The baron just shrugged. "Why not both?"

To be continued...