Friday Fanfic

Buffy the Dragon Slayer

(An obvious continuation of last week's story)

Chapter Fourteen-Beta

The minute Buffy saw the flames on Lady Isabel's hands, she cried, "Laurel! Go upstairs and fetch me my weapons."

"But, Buffy..." said Laurel.

"Do it -- now!" cried Buffy.

Laurel shrugged and ran upstairs. As she did, Buffy breathed a sigh of relief. Not that she believed that Laurel was likely to return in time to be of any help but at least for now she was out of harm's way.

Speaking of which...

"Lady Isabel," said Buffy. "Surely there's a way to settle this."

"I'm sure there is," said Lady Isabel. "But I gave them their opportunity to do that and they just laughed in my face. So now I'm forced to do things the hard way."

"Oh, no, you don't, you freak," said Querida.

Buffy saw Querida start to squeeze the trigger on her crossbow and instantly grabbed her arm so that the crossbow bolt was fired over Lady Isabel's head.

"Geez, Querida," said Buffy. "Are you trying to commit suicide?"

"You idiot," said Querida. "That was my big chance."

"Well, here's another," said Buffy.

And with that, she knocked Querida unconscious with her fist.

Buffy started to say, "I hated to do that but I had to --"

Then she broke off when she noticed Sir Reilly staring at her. And then aiming the Meggido glove in her direction.

To be continued...

Friday Fanfic

Buffy the Dragon Slayer

(An obvious continuation of last week's story)

Chapter Fourteen-Alpha

When Buffy first opened her eyes, she was a bit surprised to realize she was still alive. She ached all over but she was still alive.

And she was still a dragon. Okay.

And there was an upside-down woman staring at her. A woman who was roughly her age but wore a mask and two odd things on her wrists that looked like bracelets or something. The woman was hanging from a tree branch and staring at Buffy in the oddest way. Though considering the way she was dressed, it would have been quite hard for her to stare at Buffy in a normal way.

"Where am I?" asked Buffy, seeing nothing around her except for trees and bushes.

"It talks," said the upside-down woman.

"Of course, I talk," said Buffy. "Why shouldn't I?"

"Because you're a dragon, silly," said the woman.

"No, I'm not," said Buffy. "I'm -- Oh, right. I am a dragon. But only temporarily."

"Sure, sure," said the woman. "What brings you here, Miss Dragon?"

"My name is not Miss Dragon," said Buffy. "It's Buffy."

"Buffy's a weird name for a dragon," said the woman.

"I'm not really a drag -- Hey, what's your name?" asked Buffy.

"Eve!" exclaimed the woman.

"Okay," said Buffy. "How did you get here?"

"Easy," said Eve. "I live here."

"Why are you living in the woods?" asked Buffy.

"Why shouldn't I live in the woods?" asked Eve.

"Well, it just seems a bit unusual," said Buffy,

"Says the talking dragon," said Eve.

"Okay, I deserve that," said Buffy. "Anyway, I need to get out of here. Is there any chance you can show me the way out of these woods?"

"I suppose so," said Eve. "But why the hurry?"

"I have to go rescue a village from a great big dragon," said Buffy.

"Isn't that kind of a weird thing for a dragon to do?" asked Eve.

"I'm not really a dragon," said Buffy. "I'm really a dragon slayer. But some witch turned me into a dragon so that I could fight a bigger dragon."

"I get the feeling that plan did not work out all that well,"said Eve.

"That's a good way to put it," said Buffy. "Now can you help me?"

xxx

Laurel had no idea how long she had been sleeping but she suddenly found herself waking up in the middle of the evening in a strange bedroom. Judging from the figure lying beside her, it was Tierra's bedroom and they had apparently done far more than gather up lost towels.

No matter. One thought kept racing through her mind and it had nothing to do with Tierra: What about Jamie?

Laurel had promised Buffy that she would look after Jamie and here she was, literally sleeping on the job. Granted, you don't meet a girl like Tierra every day and if things had been less serious, Laurel liked to think that Buffy would understand.

But, no, Laurel had to check on Jamie. Now. If it was not too late.

Then she heard the sound of a dragon's roar outside the window of the room -- and Laurel realized that it might already be too late.

"Please let Jamie be okay," she chanted as she hurriedly dressed. "Please let Jamie be okay."

Just then Tierra woke up. "Jamie!" she exclaimed.

Before Laurel could say anything, Tierra was already running out of her bedroom and heading for the stairs.

Laurel just shrugged and followed, hoping against hope that it was not too late to help Jamie.

When she walked out the front door of the Violet Moon, she saw Jamie standing out in the street, staring at the sky with a frozen expression. Laurel turned to see what Jamie was looking at and noticed a small dragon flying toward them at ever-increasing speed. A dragon that looked like Buffy -- but obviously wasn't Buffy. Buffy's dragon skin was not that color and her wings were not that large and -- Oh, Great Goddess! It looked like this dragon was going to kill Jamie!

Laurel immediately leaped upon Jamie and brought her down to the ground just as the dragon let loose a torrent of flame in Jamie's direction. Laurel closed her eyes and prayed to every entity she could think of.

Buffy, she thought, I know I fucked up. But I did try my best to save Jamie. It's not my fault I failed.

Then Laurel realized that neither she nor Jamie was on fire. That they both had somehow been spared from the flames and that right then the dragon who had attacked them was flying off to seek new prey.

"Get off of me, Laurel," said Jamie, and Laurel hurriedly got off Jamie, still wondering how the heck they got spared from death.

Then she heard Tierra's voice speak from behind her, "I'm flattered that you trust me to always have your back, Jamie, but Good Goddess, girlfriend! You really do like to cut things close!"

To be continued...

Friday Fanfic

Buffy the Dragon Slayer

(An obvious continuation of last week's story)

Chapter Thirteen-Gamma

Faith Rappaccini stepped outside the front entrance of the Violet Moon and exclaimed, "Give me my swords!"

"Your swords?" asked Brother Linden.

"Yes," said Faith, glaring at Brother Linden. "Did I stutter?"

"No, but I thought the crossbows --" Brother Linden started to say.

"I don't care what you thought," said Faith. "I want my swords. Now. Or would you prefer that I breathe on you?"

"Hand her her swords, you idiot," said Sister Lilith. "She wouldn't ask for them if she didn't need them."

xxx

Meanwhile, inside the Violet Moon, Buffy said to Laurel, "Please get me my spear and shield. Now."

"Right away, Buffy," said Laurel. "But shouldn't you be going out the back so that you can go take care of the big drag--"

"I can't take care of anything as long as Faith is out there," said Buffy. "So go get me my spear and shield. Please."

"Okay," said Laurel.

Sir Roderick blinked and said, "You know, Buffy. You and I have never been really close but it seems to me --"

"I don't have time for any of your lectures right now, Sir Roderick," said Buffy. "Faith hasn't given me a lot of options and right now I'm playing the best hand that I got. Either I kill her or she kills me. There's not a whole lot you or Laurel could do about that right now."

Laurel returned with Buffy's spear and shield, and then said a brief prayer over her that Buffy hoped was a good sign.

In the meantime, Messalina just stood by the wall and watched the Slayer prepare for battle.

"Stake," she said, "I think the two human girls are going to fight."

"Of course they are, luv," said Stake.

"I suppose someone should do something about that," said Messalina.

"Yes, I suppose someone should," said Stake. "But you know these humans..."

"Yes, I do," said Messalina. "Still watching the Slayer prepare for battle like this makes me feel funny."

"You mean funny peculiar or funny ha-ha?" asked Stake.

"Both, I think," said Messalina. "I mean, the Slayer actually saved my life. I never imagined a Slayer doing that before. And I've been around a good long number of years."

"So you sympathize with her, I take it?" asked Stake.

"Well, ordinarily you'd think so but er, no," said Messalina.

Just then Faith Rappaccini re-entered the inn, this time holding two big swords -- one in each hand.

Meanwhile Buffy held up her spear and shield and scowled at her would-be attacker.

"It doesn't have to be this way, Faith," Buffy said. "Just stand down and I'll go out and kill the big dragon for you. Afterwards, I'll leave town and you never have to see me again."

"The only way you're leaving this inn is in a pine box, Slayer," said Faith.

"The graveyards are full of people who have said the same thing to me in the past," said Buffy. "So for the sake of your father and your village, you'd best stand down while you still have a chance."

"You have some nerve, Slayer," said Faith. "I'm not scared of you. Nor am I scared of your pet vampires."

"Oh, yeah," said Buffy. "Well, they aren't my pets.They're just people who helped me when almost no one else wou -- Hey! Where did Messalina go?"

"Is this the part where you go on about how loyal your vampires are?" asked Faith. "Because it doesn't look that way from here."

"No, it isn't, Faith," said Buffy. "Look, can't we just call this stupid thing off before one of us gets hurt? I don't want to have to kill you."

"It's not necessarily a matter of you killing me," said Faith. "It's a matter of me killing you. And quite frankly, I've waited long enough."

Faith raised her two swords even higher and smiled. "Goodbye, Slayer. See you in He -- Hey!"

As Buffy watched in bemusement, a mysterious masked figure threw a black cloak over Faith and grabbed her around the torso so that she could not use her arms. Then the figure pulled Faith outside so fast that by the time Buffy thought to react, Faith and her mysterious captor were already out the door.

xxx

One moment Faith Rappaccini was all set to kill the Slayer; the next she was struggling to get a cloak off of her. She tried to use her swords but both of her sword arms were being held in a tight embrace by someone clever enough to avoid direct skin contact with Faith yet strong enough to hold both her arms while dragging her backwards at the same time. And that someone was doing all this to her while she was outside in the rain.

"I don't know who you are," she said, "but I'm going to kill you."

"That's not very nice," said the voice. "All I want to do right now is make you a hero."

"I don't want to be a hero," said Faith. "I wanna kill the Slayer."

"Well, let's make you a hero first," said the voice. "Then you can go kill the Slayer."

"No, you idiot," said Faith. "Let me go."

"You didn't say 'please'," said the voice.

"Please let me go or I'll kill you!" exclaimed Faith.

"Not good enough," said the voice. "My, my. What would your mummy think of your manners?"

"I know that voice," said Faith. "You're the vampire. The lady vampire, that is."

"Am I?" asked the voice. "Will wonders never cease?"

"Stop fooling around and let me go, vampire," said Faith. "Or I'll have my minions kill you."

"Your 'minions' have been both rendered unconscious," said the voice. "But hey, nice try with that threat."

"I'll kill you!" exclaimed Faith.

"You're welcome to try," said the voice. "But not until after I make you a hero."

"I said, let me go," said Faith.

"Okay," said the voice. "You'll get your wish."

Just like that, the embrace ended and the cloak was taken off of Faith. And before her stood the big two-legged dragon that had been intent on destroying the town.

"Oh my god!" exclaimed Faith, forgetting about the swords in her hands. "Look at the size of that thing!"

"You look!" exclaimed the voice. "In fact, I insist that you get a closer look."

And just like that, two gloved hands pressed on Faith's back and pushed her so close to the big dragon that Faith could not help but touch it. Whereupon the poison in her body immediately began to work upon the creature.

"Oh, no!" Faith exclaimed. "I killed it!"

Then she thought, hey, I killed it. I killed the big dragon. That makes me a hero. Now I can go kill the Slayer. And the lady vampire.

With that, Faith turned to face Messalina who was rapidly running away from the big dragon.

Faith smiled. You can run but you can't hide, vampire, she thought.

Then Faith heard a noise and looked up in time to see the rapidly dying dragon looking down upon her.

The last thing she saw after that was the dying dragon's one last torrent of flame which just happened to be aimed in her direction.

After that, Faith had no more thoughts.

To be continued...

Friday Fanfic

Buffy the Dragon Slayer

(An obvious continuation of last week's story)

Chapter Thirteen-Beta

Just before the Meggido glove went off, Buffy rushed forward and immediately pulled Sir Reilly's hand upwards, ensuring the burst of magical energy that came out of the glove went harmlessly into the night sky instead of into Fae Lahane's chest.

"Are you crazy!" cried Buffy to Sir Reilly.

"Stand down, Slayer!" cried Sir Reilly. "You just interfered with my termination of a viable target."

"She's not a target," said Buffy. "She's a human being!"

"Hey!" cried Fae. "I resent that!"

"I mean she's a supernatural being who deserves to be treated like a human being," said Buffy.

"That's better," said Fae.

"You heard her, Slayer," said Sir Reilly. "She threatened my life first. I was well within my rights to execute her."

"With a magic glove that capable of killing a dragon?" asked Buffy. "Isn't that overkill?"

"No such thing as overkill," said Sir Reilly. "Make too many polite distinctions in the field and you end up six feet under -- if you're lucky."

Buffy turned toward Fae and said, "There's no chance we can't compromise on this whole glove thing, is there? Like maybe wait until after Sir Reilly has killed the big dragon outside and then taking the glove back to your mistress?"

"Not a chance, Slayer," said Fae. "Orders are orders. Besides, I don't just answer to Mistress Post. I also answer to her mistress, Queen Mab the Winter Monarch of Faerie. Not quite as charming as Queen Elsa but still not anyone whom you really want to disappoint unless you have a death wish."

"I'm not asking you to disobey her," said Buffy. "Just give us a little time."

"I don't see why you're bothering to negotiate with her," said Sir Reilly. "I have a sworn duty to the king to not hand over to the enemy any weapons that have been gathered in his name."

"Fae Lahane is not the enemy," said Buffy. "At least she doesn't have to be. And there has to be a nonviolent solution to this. There just has to be."

"Let go of my arm, Slayer," said Sir Reilly. "That's an order."

"I don't need you to fight my battles, Slayer," said Fae. "I can take care of Sir Reilly myself."

Oh, great, thought Buffy. Now look what I got myself into. I'm in the middle of one big fight and neither side is likely to back down. And they're both mad at me. I can't imagine how anything can be worse.

Then she felt something sharp and pointed being pressed to the side of her head.

Before Buffy could turn, she heard Querida's voice say, "I'd listen to my boyfriend Sir Reilly if I were you, Slayer. I know you Slayers have remarkable healing powers but even they can't heal the effects of having a crossbow bolt being fired directly into your skull."

xxx

"Boyfriend?" asked Buffy. "I thought Sir Reilly was just a customer."

"Boyfriend, customer, it doesn't matter," said Querida. "He's still pretty special to me. So let him go or I'll be forced to shoot you."

"If I were you, I'd let her go right now, Mistress Querida," said Sir Roderick. "Otherwise, the full force of the Watchers Council will come down upon you."

Querida just smiled. "The Watchers Council bother with a vampire? Don't make me laugh. Even if I went ahead and killed the Slayer, there's no way they could punish me. Thanks to Madame Cornelia, I have friends in high places. For that matter, I also have friends in low places as well but enough about He of the Demonic Countenance."

"I don't suppose you'd care to help, Fae?" asked Buffy.

"Hey, it's your mess," said Fae. "Anyway, all I care about is the glove."

"Well, you're not getting it," said Sir Reilly.

"What the hell is going on here?" asked a voice from behind Fae Lehane.

Everyone turned to look at the new arrival, a pale, black-haired woman in a black dress and cloak whose outfit was still damp from the outside rain. On her hands were two gloves that she kept touching over and over again.

"Who the hell are you?" asked Sir Reilly.

"Lady Isabel Sherwood of the Royal er-something-or-other," said the lady. "We've heard reports of a dragon in this area and I can see outside that they are obviously true. What I don't understand is why you all are standing around here quarreling instead of doing something about that dragon?"

"Mind your own business," said Fae Lahane.

"May I remind you," said Lady Isabel, "that I am under direct orders of the --"

"Go away," said Sir Reilly.

Lady Isabel replied, "Kind sir, I really must insist --"

"Sir Reilly just told you to 'go away'," said Querida, aiming her crossbow away from Buffy and toward the newcomer. "What part of 'go away' don't you understand?"

Lady Isabel just stood there and calmly took off her gloves. Then she held up her hands palm up and closed her eyes.

After a while, her hands began to glow with a white light.

"I see you have the Meggido glove," she said to Sir Reilly when she finally opened her eyes. "Very interesting. Personally, I don't like to rely on that type of technology to perform certain tasks."

At this point, white flames started to appear on her palms.

"You see, Sir Reilly," said Lady Isabel as the flames on her hands grew larger, "I prefer to do certain things old school."

To be continued...

Friday Fanfic

Buffy the Dragon Slayer

(An obvious continuation of last week's story)

Chapter Thirteen-Alpha

The dragon's attack was hardly the first time Buffy felt the impact of a dragon's flame upon her body but it was the first time that she experienced it without her magic potion. And yet Jamie's spell worked. To Buffy's surprise, her transformation into a dragon really did make her fireproof and once Buffy opened her eyes and realized that she was still alive, she felt a lot more optimistic about her chances against the dragon.

She started humming an odd tune she had heard earlier -- some strange little ditty that began with a wolf's howl and a few notes from a church organ -- and then realized something else. She had wings! Jamie had given her wings!

She could fly around the dragon now.

The dragon started to roar again and this time its roar was accompanied by some strange foreign music Buffy had never heard before. A real ominous tune that seemed like something one would hear from a foreign army on Judgment Day.

Buffy started to use her wings to rise up off the ground, only to hear a voice cry out, "Dragons are so stupid!"

As Buffy watched in horror, some short little knight with a red mustache started waving his sword in the dragon's direction, only to immediately perish when the dragon turned and gifted him with the same type of flame he had previously bestowed upon Buffy.

I need to end this because someone else gets hurt, Buffy thought.

Buffy started to fly up to the dragon's face so that she could attack. But before she could get there, she was swatted out of the sky by a sudden swish of the dragon's tail.

Next thing Buffy knew, she was landing in a nearby forest where she hit the ground with an impact that was not at all pleasant. Then she lost consciousness.

xxx

Jamie Madigan had always lived in fear of dying by fire. It did not help that her own mother -- hardly the kindest woman who ever lived but still in her own way a loving parent -- had died by fire, executed by the Watchers Council for charges that were considered either legit, bogus or unbelievable, depending on whom you talked to.

Jamie still remembered standing in the crowd, silent with stark raving fear, as the flames had consumed her mother. She had kept expecting her mother to do something -- to call out a curse upon her executioners, to extinguish the flames with a sudden rain storm, to do anything apart from what she actually did -- which was to die screaming as a crowd composed of her former friends and clients silently stood by and watched her burn.

That was just two years ago but after all this time, her mother's screams still echoed within Jamie's head and though part of her told herself that her mother had deserved her fate -- that she had done great harm to a great many people -- another part of her told herself that no one -- no matter how bad -- should have to die the way that her mother did.

Perhaps that was why she chose to reach out to the dragon slayer. Up until this night, Jamie had believed that all dragon slayers were arrogant little women whose sense of entitlement made your average princess seem quite humble. Yet tonight she had not seen such a creature. She had seen a frightened little girl who was trying very hard not to sound like a frightened little girl. A girl who, like Jamie, feared death by fire -- and had no idea what to do about the imminent prospect of such a death.

Jamie liked to think that she had dealt with her fear by striving to prove herself the exact opposite of her mother. Instead of performing black magic, she performed white magic. Instead of using her powers to perform evil deeds, she used them to perform good deeds. And yet despite all that, she had always lived in fear that it would not be enough. That, in the end, the Watchers Council would consider her to be as guilty as her mother, no matter what she did, and send her to the stake to burn.

But by helping the Slayer, she was helping herself. At least, that's what Jamie told herself. After all, the Watchers Council might be a corrupt bunch of hypocritical old bullies but even they would not be foolish enough to execute someone who had actually proved to be of use to them. After all, they might need her help again in the future.

And yet despite all that, Jamie could not help thinking: what if the spell wasn't enough? What if Buffy wasn't able to defeat the dragon? Death by dragonfire did not seem like much improvement over death by Council fire.

So Amelia walked outside of the Violet Moon and watched Buffy fight the dragon, only to see poor Buffy flung off into the wilderness. Great Goddess, Jamie thought. Is Buffy dead? Did my spell just ensure that Buffy would die a different type of death by dragon than the one Buffy had originally feared?

No, wait, thought Jamie. Dragons are almost indestructible. More importantly, Buffy in her dragon form was almost indestructible. And even if she wasn't, there was no way a mere flick of the dragon's tail could have killed her.

Buffy was still alive, Jamie thought. She just knew that had to be true.

Indeed, she could see Buffy in the air right then. She was flying back to the village in the opposite direction from which she had been flung but she was returning.

But wait!

Why would Buffy be flying in from that direction? And why was she ignoring the big dragon that had just knocked the stuffing out of her. And more importantly, why did this Buffy look so different from the Buffy Jamie had seen much earlier?

A nasty thought crept into Jamie's head. And though she knew that she should be using her powers to defend herself, she could not help but just stand there as she looked at the approaching dragon.

And as the dragon drew closer, Jamie found herself unable to move. In fact, she seemed unable to do anything save focus on just two thoughts:

1. The small dragon flying in her direction was not Buffy.

2. Jamie really was about to suffer the same death by fire that she had always feared.

To be continued...

Friday Fanfic

Buffy the Dragon Slayer

(An obvious continuation of last week's story)

Chapter Twelve-Gamma

"Okay," said Messalina. "Your Slayer is ready."

Laurel glanced at Buffy and noticed that her eyes seemed to be blank.

"Are you sure she's okay?" Laurel asked.

"Of course, she is," said Messalina. "All you have to do is prepare her for battle."

"But she seems so quiet," said Laurel.

"Would you rather she still be in hysterics?" asked Messalina. "The point is I calmed her down. Is there anything else you want her to do?"

"Okay," said Laurel. "Have her go back into that room over there and get undressed."

Messalina smiled. "You heard the lady, Buffy. Go into that room and strip."

Buffy did as Messalina asked.

"I guess I'll put the magic lotion on her now," said Laurel. "But first, is there something you're not telling me?"

"About Buffy?" asked Messalina. "You know as much as I do."

"That's not what I meant," said Laurel. "If I ever find out you did something to her..."

"You're wasting time," said Messalina. "I thought she had a dragon to fight. That dragon isn't going to stay out there forever. And the longer it takes Buffy to get out there, the more buildings it's going to burn."

Laurel started muttering under her breath but in the end, she went in and spread the magic lotion upon Buffy's body. And noted how weirdly silent Buffy was, even when Laurel applied the lotion to an especially ticklish spot.

When Laurel was done, she asked Buffy to pick up her sword. There was no response.

Then Messalina came into the room and asked Buffy to do the same thing. Buffy automatically picked up her sword with no problem whatsoever.

Messalina smiled again.

"Now walk into the hall," she said.

Buffy walked into the hall.

"Walk toward the front entrance," said Messalina.

Buffy started walking toward the front entrance.

Sir Roderick did not say a word but Laurel could not help being skeptical.

"Are you sure she's going to be able to fight a dragon like this?" Laurel asked.

Messalina just shrugged. "Actually the dragon is not Buffy's worst problem," she said. "Her worst problem is -- "

Just then the front door opened and a dark-haired woman with two crossbows on her arms stepped into the inn.

"My name is Faith Rappaccini," she said, "and I kill demons, vampires, and rogue slayers. Especially the type of rogue slayers who collaborate with vampires."

"Ah!" exclaimed Messalina. "There's Buffy's worst problem right there."

xxx

"Who the heck are you?" asked Laurel of the dark-haired woman in the front entrance.

Sir Roderick interrupted. "Laurel, please. Let me handle this."

He turned toward the dark-haired woman in the front entrance and said, "Now then... Who the heck are you?"

"I just told you," said the woman. "I'm Faith Rappaccini. I'm here to slay your dragon slayer."

"Why in the world would you want to do that?" asked Sir Roderick. "Your town is under attack by a dragon. You need a dragon slayer to take care of that. And anyway, what gives you the authority to prevent the Slayer from performing her duties anyway?"

"I take my orders from my father the mayor," said the woman who called herself Faith. "The dragon will be taken care of in due time but in the meantime, your Slayer has got to go. She's been compromised by her involvement with vampires and I'm here to see that she pays for it."

Messalina sighed and snapped her fingers. "Time to wake up, Buffy."

Whatever trance Buffy had been in ended and she looked around the inn with a startled expression on her face.

"Hey, why am I naked?" she said, shielding her breasts from view. "Why am I covered with lotion?"

Then Buffy noticed Faith. "Who the heck are you?" she asked.

Now it was Faith's turn to sigh.

"Not this again," she said. "I'm Faith Rappaccini. I'm the mayor's daughter. I kill demons, vampires and rogue slayers. And I'm here to kill you, Buf --"

Buffy interrupted, "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it already. You're evil. Do we have to chat about it all day?"

"No, we don't," said Faith.

And with that, she fired a crossbow bolt in the direction of Buffy's chest, only to watch with dismay as Buffy caught the bolt just before it hit her.

"You sure you want to start something with a professional dragon slayer?" asked Buffy. "My job requires me to fight giant fire-breathing reptiles on a regular basis. A mere human is hardly a challenge compared to that."

"She's not a mere human, Buffy," said Stake. "She's a poison damsel. I can smell the difference from here. One touch of her skin or one whiff of her breath and you're a dead woman."

"The vampire has it right," said Faith.

"Wait a minute!" said Buffy, turning toward Stake. "You're a vampire?"

"You honestly did not know that?" asked Stake.

"Well, I don't encounter many vampires in my line of work," said Buffy. "Besides, why would a Slayer need to know anything about vampires?"

"I'm a vampire, too, for what it's worth," said Messalina.

Faith smiled when she heard this. "I guessed as much but since you were nice enough to confess..."

She fired a crossbow bolt in Messalina's direction but again Buffy intercepted it before it hit its intended target.

"Okay," said Faith. "Since that's the way it's going to be, it looks like I'll have to do this the hard way."

To be continued...

Friday Fanfic

Buffy the Dragon Slayer

(An obvious continuation of last week's story)

Chapter Twelve-Beta

"Oh my Goddess!" cried Laurel. "That poor woman!"

"Oh, Mistress Post wasn't poor," said Sir Reilly. "In fact, she was well-off. Indeed, she owned --"

"That will be enough of that, Sir Reilly," said Magdalena. "No need to inform them of all our private business. Speaking of which, any progress in regard to that second item I requested?"

"If you're referring to the Holy Grail," said Sir Reilly, "well, we still have had no luck. As for the Lost Ark of the Covenant, we've had a heck of a time tracking that down, given that its last known location is currently controlled by the Teutonic Knights. We did manage to obtain a few clues in Cairo but then all hell broke loose. Apparently some mercenary lost her girlfriend in the marketplace and was harassing all the local basket merchants about it. Then of course, he had to go and shoot an Arab swordsman with his crossbow, and boy, did that cause no end of trouble. And in addition --"

"Okay, Sir Reilly," said Magdalena. "We get the point. Think you have time to slay a dragon for us?"

"Yes, Mistress Walsh," said Sir Reilly with a click of his heels.

"Oh, good," said Magdalena. "The sooner we get this dragon-slaying over with, the better."

Just then there was a knock on the front door.

Again the innkeeper answered it.

This time there was a young woman at the door. She had dark brown hair and appeared to be eighteen -- just about two years younger than Buffy.

"Top of the evening to you," she said. "I'm here on behalf of my mistress Guadalupe Post. I believe you people have something that belongs to her."

"Who the hell are you?" asked Sir Reilly as the blonde woman leaning on him suppressed a smirk.

"Me?" asked the woman. "Why, I'm nobody. Just a faithful friend and servant of Mistress Post, here to collect a bit of lost property. But if you have to call me something, please feel free to call me Fae Lahane."

"Well, Fae," said Sir Riley with a scowl, "your mistress's 'lost property' is now the official property of his Majesty and his loyal servants. So you can just get lost."

"Are you sure you don't want to change your mind?" asked Fae. "You really don't want me as an enemy."

Sir Reilly laughed. "I give up his Majesty's property to no man."

Fae smiled. "It's funny that you put it that way because as you can see, I am clearly not a man."

At that point, she dropped her dress and revealed a naked body that had been concealed from the sun for so long that its whiteness was almost blinding to look at. But that bit was not half as noticeable as the large transparent wings that were spreading out behind Fae's back.

"Heck," Fae continued, "I'm not even human."

xxx

"Wow!" exclaimed Querida as she gazed upon the naked body of Fae Lahane. "The carpet really does match the drapes!"

"Why, thank you," said Fae. "You don't look so bad yourself -- for a human."

"Hey!" exclaimed Querida. "Take that back! I'm a vampire, not a human!"

"My mistake," said Fae.

"No worries," said Querida. "Though I must admit that if you're nice to me, I could be anything you wanted me to be -- provided, of course, the price is right."

"Anything?" asked Fae. "Even a pony? I always wanted a pony."

"Okay," said Buffy. "This is getting weird."

"Getting weird?" asked the innkeeper.

"Of course, I normally prefer to ride broomstick but for you, I'm willing to make an exception," said Fae.

"Yeah, right," said Querida with a wink.

"Er, girls," said Laurel, "aren't you both forgetting something?"

"Laurel!" cried Buffy.

"Oh, right," said Fae, turning back to Sir Reilly. "I made a promise to a lady. Okay, whoever your name is, hand over the glove or else I'm going to have to hurt you."

"Please don't do that," said Querida. "That's my job."

"Oh, really?" asked Fae. "Is it okay if I kill him instead?"

"I'd rather you didn't," said Querida. "After all, he is one of my best customers."

"If you don't mind, Querida," said Sir Reilly, "I can fight my own battles, thank you very much."

"Well, excuse me for trying to save your life, Sir Reilly," said Querida. "It's humans like you that make me wish I was turned a lot sooner than I actually was."

"Tell me about it," said Fae. "Humans can be a real pain sometimes. Not that I mind most of the time. After all, some of my best friends are humans. But every so often..."

Sir Reilly cleared his throat. "Excuse me, but if you don't mind, I'd really appreciate it if you just go away."

"Well, like I said," said Fae, "I made a promise to a lady. So while I would like to think that I'm as big a fan of the 'want, take, have' school of philosophy as most of your kind, Sir Reilly, I really would appreciate it if you turn over the Meggido glove right now. Please don't make me take it from you. You would not like that."

Sir Reilly sneered. "And you would not like what I do in return."

And with that, he raised the hand wearing the Meggido glove and pointed it in the direction of Fae Lahane's uncovered chest.

To be continued...